Need a shrink? *hurt

Rough nite againz....

After toking to cousins on last sun, i felt better and was able to perk myself a bit; told myself: we'll (me and him) be able to do this together- go thru this rough patch together. By means of accepting his changes and i try not be a control freak.

Things improved a bit over the weekend until last nite, i snapped again.

Last weekend, he didn;'t attend the compeition and din attend his LWS class becos he finally know what i'm driving at. He found out he don't have much time to complete his asg and best of all, his grpmate can't do her part for the grp project. Honestly, i'm overjoyed by this act.

Anyway, i snapped again becos the forbidden name, "JO", (yup yup, my dear readers, the bloody name is being heard from his mouth again) just blurted out from his mouth during our usual nite nite conversation b4 we go slp. His explaination was "it was an accident." Let me re-enact the whole conversation again (please be my judge again):

DQ: (happy tone) "o.. i tot u want to send j..jo.. off to the airport next morning. o ya..i remember you stay over at my place liao"

M: (furious tone liao) "who's Jo? JO again!!! this bloody name. who want to send her off?"

DQ: (busy explaining tone) "I meant to said jocelyn de, den said JO in accident."

Ms. M dun believe this can be an accident. cos exactly 1 week ago, she snapped becos of the same person's name. And likewise, Mr. Dq gave the same reason: "it was an accident". Honestly, the rage is so great till i can visualise myself slapping his face (if he's in front of me), when he said that name out. I think i will not hold back, cos i reali snapped till i can't controlled myself. (gosh, i'm so bao li)

Anyway, the whole nite, i just lashed out on him and he just keep on using words to spite me - topics included: CSF, LWS and many more.

Conclusion:

Mr.DQ accused Ms. M for not believing him and trust him. He felt humilated cos first of all, he thinks that i'm insulting him and his love for me. He thinks i shouldn't doubt him in the first place. 2nd, (according to him) He felt insulted more when i said the "3rd party" is XX, cos he think her standard is below average. (in my mind, if i said it's other pretty gals whom he's close with, do u think he will feel insulted?) To him, she's a brother; someone whom he can tok cock to. 3rd, singing makes him relaxed and so he can;t quit his singing lesson.

Ms. M blamed Mr. DQ for making her paranoid. She's also went bersek when he said he wan to pei go see a shrink. Ms. M find him not sensitive to her feelings anymore. i think towards the end of the conversation, Ms. M found herself blabbering on w.o knowing what she trying to convery to DQ. cos she's devastated to a point she can;t take it anymore- just feel like giving up. haiz.. esp CSF is mentioned. a topic she dread that he will touch on just to spite her. I'm disappointed.

haiz.. tired....another slpless nite.

can someone help me out?

while i was writing this blog, i read another comment from my poly buddy, my imagination run wild again. Is he reali leaning towards her? All the insults he said when i said the 3rd party is Jo are all smokescreen. Damn... so sad.... so confused

He said:

Well.. wat i think ah.. both got wrong.. which is obviously.. for u.. i seriously think that the more u try to control or make him stay by ur side..the more he will wan to break off frm you.. Its similar like the harder you control a teen, the more he/she will do the opposite from wat u teach.. So i think u need to try to relax and calm down abit.. u need to noe and figure out when to release the string and when to tighten it.. cannot always keep it tight, it will snap de..See ah.. u keep quarrelling wif him.. the moment he face you only is quarrel. What will he think? if I am him.. i oso dun wan or reluntant to meet u lor. Wheres if when he face jo..hes always happy as compare to face u.. sooner or later..Even if now he faithful to u.. he going to lean towards her de if this suitation continuesl.. U will too.. if u put urself in his shoes.. who wan to be wif a person whenever meeting end up wif quarrels right?What u can do is.. 5 simple words.. T-R-U-S-T. Simple yet hard to do.. if u can convience urself to trust him.. you 2 wont be quarrelling so much.. the situation will improve.. beside if a bf have a understanding and broad mind gf.. why will he wan other gal right?Try to convience urself to trust him.. if u do..and yet he betray u.. then be thankful that he did it bê4 u 2 are married right? He wont be that good for u if he still unfaithful lei.. I think all these words are said out in a fit of anger la.. plus its already late nite when u 2 quarrel. the mind is tired and not sharp lei.. so he say things as wat he change or wat.. Its a moment of anger ba.. Communication is v impt for a couple. Try to talk to him NICELY.. say wat u dun like abt him and wat u wish for..Tell him the irriating IF N HECK CARE attitude nicely.. Not use saying wat u dun like when u 2 are quarreling.. He wont listen in to u de.. Nobody listen in when angry de.. As for his area.. i cant advise him oso. coze i not in contact wif him. but wat i think is the jo and jorene thingy is bullshit.. Maybe in my view la.. he already starts to lean towards her lei.. so.. wat u can do now is to show him why u are better. remind him of ur strong points. It cant be hard right? since he chose u in the 1st place.. U just need to recap him..
In conclusion... I think both of u need to calm down.. think abt the very 1st place why u fall in love wif him.. think of his strong points. Dun just think of the unhappiness currently.. next time even if u got something unhappy or wan to quarrel wif him.. swallow it down. dun say out.. angry just walk away or do other things.. wat u say in a moment of anger will destroy all the happy things u 2 painfully created.